You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize