are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
