I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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