Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
