Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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