He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
