I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
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I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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