we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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