We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Randomize
