it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
