If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she told me i tasted like america
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
