if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB