This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET