dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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