pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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