he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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