Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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