I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
