Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
