He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You've changed since you got that strap on
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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