dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize