I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
