Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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