Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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