Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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