so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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