Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
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it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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