No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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