I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
