Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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