My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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