Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
