I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
