Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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