It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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