Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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