i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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