i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
