i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can I color on your dick again?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
