i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
