I wish my penis had an off switch
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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