the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
