The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
