i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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