great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
