So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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