Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
