you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
