More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
