Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
