I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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