theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
