apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
