I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
