Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
