I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
