oh god the rape fog is back!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
