we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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