yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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