So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
