I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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