I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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