I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize