I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
