you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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