C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
