I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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