Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
