i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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