a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
