Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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