also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
