LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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