ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
